What attracted me to becoming a Befriender was that I had volunteered at Home-Start Wigtownshire for five years working with 0-3 year olds and I wanted to expand my knowledge and experience working with older children and the Befriending role fitted the criteria perfectly (8-18 year olds). Befriending gives a young person the skills to help them tackle difficulties either at home, school or in the wider community before they get too big through extra support in helping them become the best version of themselves. This is achieved through listening, problem-solving and confidence building which are acquired through learning and doing new activities together.
After you complete your training you and the young person will have a meeting to see if you are a ‘match’. I always remember being told ‘don’t take it personally if it isn’t a match’ which eases the nerves and takes the pressure off to allow the meeting to be relaxed because the young person will probably be as nervous as you. You just need one thing to spark a conversation and a light bulb moment and we bonded over ‘competitiveness’ as I had a sporting background and this peaked his interest as he was also ‘competitive’ (little did he know, golf wasn’t my sport, but he did find out later, hence I became the trusty caddy).
Not all children have the best start in life, but by giving your time it is one of the most valuable things that you can do for a young person because you are creating memories that they will cherish for a lifetime. We often have a laugh when we reminisce about past activities together. Through doing activities together you are also showing them the opportunities that life has to offer and a future that is bright and where they can fulfill their full potential, because all they need is one person to believe in them. However, don’t expect change to happen overnight. It takes time to build trust and there will be bumps in the road but if you are patient, calm and ever present and even if it’s not always visible you are making more of an impact than you think.
The greatest reward being a Befriender is when your young person sees you and their face lights up with the biggest smile. It’s in that moment that you know you are making a difference.
- Befriender
I thoroughly enjoyed the training, especially when we heard current befrienders experiences. It was really helpful to hear of their ideas/activities for future matches. I really enjoyed every session, very relaxed and welcoming.
- Befriender
I enjoyed the training sessions, they are very interesting, no feelings of pressure and it was enjoyable throughout.
- Befriender
Evaluation question. We continually endeavour to maintain high standards, we would value your comments – positive or negative on our service and any suggestions on ways the Project could be improved/developed.
As ever I continue to be proud to be part of such a worthwhile, well run voluntary service.
- Befriender
Evaluation Question: Now that the befriending match has come to an end, what changes have you seen in your young person if any?
D has become more outgoing since first meeting with him. He appeared to enjoy being included in group activities and meeting others of the same ages which increased his self confidence. Spending time on a one to one basis was especially important because it was time just for him.
- Befriender
I found the volunteer coordinators to be brilliant. Always willing to give excellent advice and are always there when needed. All group activities were well planned. This is a brilliant service, long may it continue for all the great work everyone does for the young people.
- Befriender
Evaluation Question: Now that the befriending match has come to an end, what changes have you seen in your young person?
- She has become more aware of herself.
- Social interactions have increased. She has made several true friends.
- She has taken control of her actions.
- Lots of discussions have made her more confident.
- She has enjoyed the support in her quest to identify her feelings.
- Befriender
What have you learned about yourself, through being a Befriender?
I am happy around young people and like getting to know them. The experience has been life changing, I really felt I have made a difference in a young persons life.
- Befriender
What do you get from befriending? What motivates you?
Having a laugh, it’s good fun. I feel it does make a difference and it gives my young person a different perspective on the world – some hope for the future.
- Befriender
Evaluation Question: Now that the befriending match has ended, what changes have you seen in the young person you were matched with?
I have seen her over the last year become more confident socially. She is still a quiet, shy individual but this is no longer so debilitating that it is holding her back from participating in life. Befriending came at a good time as she was making more friends at school and both have helped enormously.
- Befriender
What do you get from befriending? What motivates you?
I like helping and it really doesn’t take much. It’s good to have an excuse to hang out with a young person. I get a lot of satisfaction, from the one to one time I spend with a child who needs support.
- Befriender
It is fast approaching four years since I began the process of becoming a volunteer befriender. Not everything about returning to Dumfries has turned out as expected, but I remain extremely grateful to have fulfilled this long-held ambition. I still have the leaflet that I first read over a decade ago before moving to Stirling!
Three matches on I’ve made many amazing memories with each of my young people, and even when they don’t say it I know how much it means to them. As someone who works with children in educational and creative settings, I can assure you that this is enjoyable and rewarding in an entirely different way.
I’m happy for anyone interested in Befriending to contact me about my experience, and I only hope that I can convince you to give it a try.