Your Say
Find out what people say about their experience with Dumfries and Galloway Befriending Project. There are comments from the Young People themselves as well as Befrienders, Parents/Carers and Referrers …
"Now that befriending has come to an end, has befriending helped you?
Yes, made me more comfortable talking to adults and gave me confidence to try and go to youth clubs. I enjoyed going places, doing sporty stuff, going to costa and having talks. My Befriender talked to me, gave me advise, was friendly and listened to my problems."
- Young Person
"Befriending has given my young person the opportunity to get out of the house and be involved in more group/social activities. He has gained confidence in group situations but still likes his own company too."
- Befriender
"I have been very impressed by the Befriending Project in all aspects. The organisers are very focused and caring and the ‘befrienders’ are no less so. I would have no hesitation in recommending the Befriending Project to anyone in need of it – or to a person who was looking for something worthwhile to do with some free time."
- Referrer
"I think befriending is ran really well. It has really helped my son be more outgoing and confident. He can't wait to see his befriender when it's time for him to see her. His manner is much happier, I feel. He has made friends and he doesn't look so depressed as he did before. He feels valued. He talks to me a bit more and is a bit more open. Very positive help. Thank you!"
- Parents/Carers
"Befrienders help you, take your troubles to them to get them off your shoulders."
- Young Person
"Has befriending helped you?
'It has helped my confidence – having a friend who listens. I would like to thank my befriender for all the time she has spent with me.'"
- Young Person
"I’ve become more confident. I’m more open and can go to places on my own now. I had fun!"
- Young Person
"My befriender was nice and not moody or bossy!"
- Young Person
"What some young people think about our project:
- “You are getting a person to speak to, help you, advise you not to retaliate, do fun stuff with and take you out places.”
- “I would advise someone else to take up the offer, of a Befriender.”
- “I’ve really enjoyed myself. I’m happy that S was my Befriender because she was the one I would want to talk to if I was in a bad mood.”
- Young Person
"The Project offers an excellent service to young people in our community and relieves isolation."
- Referrer
"I learned I’m also a bit like my young person. That’s why we didn’t get on each other’s nerves!"
- Befriender
"This past 12 months I have had the good fortune to be matched with a young person who was put forward to the befriending project by his school with the full support of his mother. It has been wonderful to watch his personality change over the time we’ve been together; his aptitude for creativity, confidence in his own ability and his overall well-being has shown me the difference we can make to a young person who just needs that little extra in his left to set him on the right path. So from me, a big think you to everyone involved."
- Befriender
"My experience with the Project has been entirely positive and the young people I work with have all developed new skills and widen their social experiences."
- Referrer
"It’s someone who takes you places. They take care of you, they listen to you and they give you advice. They give you a break from your family."
- Young Person
"What do you get from befriending? What motivates you?
I like helping and it really doesn't take much. It's good to have an excuse to hang out with a young person. I get a lot of satisfaction, from the one to one time I spend with a child who needs support.
"
- Befriender
"He is a lot happier in himself and has grown with confidence."
- Parents/Carers
"Do you feel Befriending has benefited the young person?
I consider her mental health to have improved and on the whole, she is more robust and able to deal with her problems. She has gained confidence in communicating with her teachers and peers, which hopefully will continue into the next school year. I consider the Befriending service to provide a highly worthwhile support mechanism for young people and their families."
- Befriender
"As someone who has completed a few hours a week for a few years I can tell you volunteering will also make a real difference to your life. Being a Befriender has enriched my world and certainly given me hours and hours of pleasant experiences; enabling me to interact with young people in a positive way for them and myself. You also have fun. A win win situation."
- Befriender
"Evaluation Question: Now that the befriending match has come to an end, what changes have you seen in your young person?
- She has become more aware of herself.
- Social interactions have increased. She has made several true friends.
- She has taken control of her actions.
- Lots of discussions have made her more confident.
- She has enjoyed the support in her quest to identify her feelings.
- Befriender
"I get on with my befriender because she is cool."
- Young Person
"My Befriender listened to me and gave me advice on problems I shared with her."
- Young Person
"It has helped her go to school and get out more. She wants to do things as a family."
- Parents/Carers
"I think the service is very worthwhile. In this case, the Befriender worked extremely hard to find common ground, and this was to the Young Persons benefit."
- Referrer
"It is better now at home – it’s kind of calm and I get on better with my family, especially my brother."
- Young Person
"‘J’ is much more confident and self-aware – and talks about things more openly."
- Befriender
"Befriending has helped lots with her social skills. She has been more keen to try new things and to meet new people."
- Parent/Carer
"My Befriender helped me to be a bit more open. To say what I need to say."
- Young Person
"How would you describe befriending to someone who knows nothing about it?
'It helps to make you more happy in yourself.'"
- Young Person
"What attracted me to becoming a Befriender was that I had volunteered at Home-Start Wigtownshire for five years working with 0-3 year olds and I wanted to expand my knowledge and experience working with older children and the Befriending role fitted the criteria perfectly (8-18 year olds). Befriending gives a young person the skills to help them tackle difficulties either at home, school or in the wider community before they get too big through extra support in helping them become the best version of themselves. This is achieved through listening, problem-solving and confidence building which are acquired through learning and doing new activities together.
After you complete your training you and the young person will have a meeting to see if you are a 'match'. I always remember being told 'don't take it personally if it isn't a match' which eases the nerves and takes the pressure off to allow the meeting to be relaxed because the young person will probably be as nervous as you. You just need one thing to spark a conversation and a light bulb moment and we bonded over 'competitiveness' as I had a sporting background and this peaked his interest as he was also 'competitive' (little did he know, golf wasn't my sport, but he did find out later, hence I became the trusty caddy).
Not all children have the best start in life, but by giving your time it is one of the most valuable things that you can do for a young person because you are creating memories that they will cherish for a lifetime. We often have a laugh when we reminisce about past activities together. Through doing activities together you are also showing them the opportunities that life has to offer and a future that is bright and where they can fulfill their full potential, because all they need is one person to believe in them. However, don't expect change to happen overnight. It takes time to build trust and there will be bumps in the road but if you are patient, calm and ever present and even if it's not always visible you are making more of an impact than you think.
The greatest reward being a Befriender is when your young person sees you and their face lights up with the biggest smile. It's in that moment that you know you are making a difference."
- Befriender
"Do you feel befriending has benefited the young person?
"I saw the change within the first few weeks. His outlook and his demure became more open and relaxed.""
- Befriender
"It is someone to talk to about worries. I still feel a bit anxious about being outside, but my befriender has helped give me some confidence. We have fun together."
- Young Person
"S has been able to access social/leisure activities which she would otherwise not have assessed. Activities such as going for a meal or to the supermarket may seem like everyday activities but S has a very limited exposure to these and having a Befriender has opened up these opportunities for her. S has benefitted from having another adult to talk to rather than just her mum. It has started to extend her social network."
- Referrer
"They are someone to talk to apart from your family. They help improve yourself and make you a better person, while having fun."
- Young Person
"D&G Befriending is brilliant and a very worthwhile project. I tell everyone about the good work it does!"
- Referrer
"It's been fun - it's something that I'll never forget!"
- Young Person
"Evaluation question. We continually endeavour to maintain high standards, we would value your comments - positive or negative on our service and any suggestions on ways the Project could be improved/developed.
As ever I continue to be proud to be part of such a worthwhile, well run voluntary service."
- Befriender
"Such a massive thank you for the time you have given, the pearls of wisdom imparted and just generally being the unruffled soul you are. We appreciate everything you have done these past two years. We will miss you very much."
- Parents/Carers
"How would you describe befriending to someone who knows nothing about it?
'I would say it’s a really good opportunity to do things you’ve never done before, become confident around people and get to know the Befriender really well. I think its excellent.'"
- Young Person
"'E' has benefited from having a befriender and seems to have enjoyed the experience. She appears to be quite confident about progressing to high school."
- Referrer
"My Volunteer Coordinator has been marvellous in her support. Befriending staff in general are very supportive. Courses are excellent and beneficial. Some fantastic outings have been arranged."
- Befriender
"It’s fun to get a break from big brothers and sisters and gives you a chance to do things you’ve always wanted to do."
- Young Person
"Having a befriender helped me because it got me out of the house and I could talk about things. When we went out it gave me a chance to have a break. You get to go out and have a bit of fun or you can go out and have a good old chat if you want, you can let out your anger, fear etc and know that what you say will not be whispered to anyone else."
- Young Person
"The work done is always worthwhile and is valued by the youngsters who benefit. Its a service I'm very happy to take advantage of for our youngsters."
- Referrer
"I think the Befriending Service does an excellent job in providing alternatives for young people to show them that there are possibilities and that there is hope. The links with the school are invaluable and attendance at Child’s Meetings is hugely appreciated."
- Referrer
"Evaluation question. We continually endeavour to maintain high standards, we would value your comments - positive or negative on our service and any suggestions on ways the Project could be improved/developed.
As ever I continue to be proud to be part of such a worthwhile, well run voluntary service."
- Befriender
"I’m not cheeky to people now because I am going out and making new friends."
- Young Person
"The Befriending Project has been a great help to myself, seeing his confidence grow. He is more willing to get involved and is not afraid to speak in situations now."
- Parent/Carers
"I have noticed ‘T’ is now more sociable and open. She expresses herself better and seems more relaxed and happy."
- Befriender
"Having a befriender is helpful and amazing. It’s safe, supportive and fun. You meet new friends and lovely people and do new things. My befriender is the best person I have ever met."
- Young Person
"Evaluation Question: Now that the befriending match has come to an end, what changes have you seen in your young person?
He is more outgoing and doing things by himself. He seems to be more confident and relaxed. He has gained various skills over the time of our match that he will be able to use later in life. The whole experience was great, I really enjoy being a befriender."
- Befriender
"Becoming a befriender has been one of the most rewarding experiences I have ever had. It has been challenging, fun and exciting. The more dedication you put into it the more you seem to get out of it. It was really great to get out and do some fun and exciting things e.g quad biking. I remember us driving up and down muddy ditches getting messed up and having the time of our lives….I will never forget the look of happiness on my young person’s face. I have been a befriender for 2½ years and we have done an assortment of crazy things…we have crawled around in a muddy forest on a group activity for example. Other times we have simply taken my dog for hikes in Mabie Forest watching him chase the birds. One of our favourite and relaxing things would be to go and chill out at a local cafe and stuff our faces full of pancakes and ice cream, followed by the most amazing hot chocolate!"
- Befriender
"I just wanted to say a big thank you for all you have done for my Grandson. Looking at his scrap book photo's you can see the former weak smile grow to a strong happy smile. We will always remember your support. So a big thank you again. Keep up the good work. You make such a difference in these children's lives. From a grateful Grandma."
- Parents/Carers
"My young person benefited greatly from having a befriender. She enjoyed the knowledge of having someone to listen to her and call upon in times of need. She became more confident during group activates and this let her move on in her life. I feel privileged to have been part of such a worthwhile project. Keep up the good work!"
- Befriender
"I enjoyed the training sessions, they are very interesting, no feelings of pressure and it was enjoyable throughout."
- Befriender
"I feel I have grown in confidence. My befriender is very caring and helpful. I can now explore different places and really enjoy getting out and talking to people."
- Young Person
"I can now stick up for myself, as I now feel more confident."
- Young Person
"The Befriending service is excellent. She has been able to go places I couldn't take her. Now she can stick up more for herself as she has gained more confidence in herself and she has matured lots by interacting with other people."
- Parents/Carers
"I thoroughly enjoyed the training, especially when we heard current befrienders experiences. It was really helpful to hear of their ideas/activities for future matches. I really enjoyed every session, very relaxed and welcoming."
- Befriender
"I've been a befriender for two years now and it's one of the best things I ever decided to do. I highly recommend it to anyone who would like to be a positive influence in a young person's life, and am glad to talk about my experience."
- Befriender
"C (young person) can tell D (befriender) anything; and D really listens.
"
- Parents/Carers
"The Befriending Project has helped B as he enjoys taking part in different activities and spending time in company where he is listened to."
- Referrer
"I loved having a befriender a lot, she helped me to do things I didn't think I could. It has helped me build up my confidence, to go outside more and go to school."
- Young Person
"What do you get from befriending? What motivates you?
Having a laugh, it’s good fun. I feel it does make a difference and it gives my young person a different perspective on the world - some hope for the future."
- Befriender
"My Befriender has given me more confidence. He’s helped me control my anger and gave me advice. Today I will do my best because I know I can!"
- Young Person
"It is a fantastic project which enables young people to gain experiences which they wouldn’t otherwise have had the chance to."
- Referrer
"What have you learned about yourself, through being a Befriender?
I am happy around young people and like getting to know them. The experience has been life changing, I really felt I have made a difference in a young persons life."
- Befriender
"I have more confidence to talk to people. I can spend time with someone I got to know. I got to go places and do things we enjoy."
- Young Person
"A befriender can help you come out of the shadows!"
- Young Person
"Do you feel Befriending has been beneficial?
D interacts more with family and seems to be a bit more confident. The Befriending Project has helped my kids, it has been a great help to myself and my kids. I hope that this service continues and helps many more kids."
- Parent/Carer
"Befriending has helped me to get out of the house without getting bullied. I have been able to go lots of places and do lots of things. I wouldn’t have been able to go on trips, or to the cinema, ballet and Shambellie workshops."
- Young Person
"This is a wonderful service which provides high quality input to vulnerable young people. The positive impact is priceless. Please pass on our thanks to the Befrienders."
- Referrer
"Befriending has brought a whole new dimension into my life. It is great seeing the progress the young people make. I didn’t realise how much I would get out of it because of the physical enjoyment of the activities plus the mental stimulation, it is much more rewarding than I had anticipated"
- Befriender
"Everyone was very sad when the match came to an end. To me, this says so much about the fantastic relationship that had developed between the young person and befriender."
- Referrer
"Befriending has benefited S by helping her be more confident and to look forward to things. Because her confidence has improved she is able to do things she couldn’t do before on her own, like get the bus or going to the shop etc."
- Parents/Carers
"I’m more confident about being outside on my own."
- Young Person
"'J's relationships with others have improved considerably as her self-esteem and confidence have increased. Previously she always seemed to see herself as a victim of society, now she has realised that she can make the difference."
- Referrer
"Befriending has benefited K by helping her to be more true to herself, more grown up, more friendly, more confident, more understanding of people around her, less stressed, more happy, more understanding of her siblings and caring."
- Parent/Carer
"It has helped me to become more confident and express myself more. To talk to anybody openly. I could talk to my Befriender about anything at the same time as having fun."
- Young Person
"Befriending has allowed me to see new things and do different activities."
- Young Person
"It’s helped me to understand that other people have problems too – not just me. It's someone to talk to, to listen to your problems – to give advice or time out to discuss it."
- Young Person
"Befriending has helped build up my confidence, helped me to leave the house more and lesson my anxiety. Befriending is a bit of time where you can destress. I very much enjoyed my time, the project is amazing!"
- Young Person
"How would you describe befriending to someone who knows nothing about it?
You get an adult who you can trust, who you can talk to, be listened to, go other places and have fun."
- Young Person
"Befriending has helped me in a lot of ways but the one that is most is that I have become a lot more confident and happy."
- Young Person
"‘R’ is now much more confident and secure – both within herself and in wider social situations."
- Parents/Carers
"Befriending has helped my daughter be more sociable, chatty and outgoing. She gets more involved in whats going on. She is more patient to listen to what her brother and sister are saying to her at times and a bit more caring and considerate towards them."
- Parents/Carers
"Befriending is a chance to speak to someone and go places that you may not have the confidence or opportunity to go to. It has helped me with my confidence and social skills along with helping me be active and getting out of the house. I can start conversations better with people I don't know that well and be more confident in day to day things."
- Young Person
"I was very impressed with the careful matching process which helped to make the whole experience for 'M' so positive."
- Referrer
"We truly value the Befriending Project and are grateful for your input with our Young People."
- Referrer
"Meeting up with her Befriender has been a great benefit to my daughter. It has given her time away from the family and time away from thinking about her worries. It has been a treat to go and eat out, and given her someone to talk about things with. My daughter and her Befriender have become good friends and that has been great. It has been good for us as parents to know that she has been getting this support and to share just a little bit of the strain of looking after a teenager going through a very difficult stage in her life. We are very grateful to D&G Befriending Project for the sensitivity and care that you have given us."
- Parents/Carers
"The Befriending experience has benefited ‘M’. She is more understanding of her brother and is offering to help him. She is sharing more, not just things, but sharing her time and her chat. More communication – once she starts talking she won’t stop."
- Parent/Carer
"I feel that my Grandson has benefited greatly from his time with the Befriending Project. It has improved his life skills; he now mixes better with peers; and he has experienced a lot of different sports and outings. As a grandparent, we would not have been able to do all of these things. Our Grandson’s befriender was absolutely the best – a match made in heaven."
- Parents/Carers
"Befriending has helped me with my confidence in day to day things and my social skills, along with helping me be more active. I can start conversations better with people don't know that well. A Befriender is someone to talk to!"
- Young Person
"Befriending is having someone to talk to when I needed to!"
- Young Person
"As I always say, your project has such a positive impact on the lives of young people. The Volunteer Coordinators go above and beyond with the young people and it is such a positive experience."
- Referrer
"One volunteer befriender who has been with the Project for five years says …
’I started as a 19 year old with a social conscience. I’m still befriending but now pursuing a career in childcare. I just offer unconditional friendship - valuing the young person in spite of, but not encouraging, bad behaviour.’"
- Befriender
"It’s somebody to tell your thoughts to and how good your day was."
- Young Person
"It is fast approaching four years since I began the process of becoming a volunteer befriender. Not everything about returning to Dumfries has turned out as expected, but I remain extremely grateful to have fulfilled this long-held ambition. I still have the leaflet that I first read over a decade ago before moving to Stirling!
Three matches on I've made many amazing memories with each of my young people, and even when they don't say it I know how much it means to them. As someone who works with children in educational and creative settings, I can assure you that this is enjoyable and rewarding in an entirely different way.
I'm happy for anyone interested in Befriending to contact me about my experience, and I only hope that I can convince you to give it a try."
- Befriender
"Has Befriending helped you?
Yes, I can do more things that I couldn’t do before. It has showed me what I can do and am more confident talking to people."
- Young Person
"I found the volunteer coordinators to be brilliant. Always willing to give excellent advice and are always there when needed. All group activities were well planned. This is a brilliant service, long may it continue for all the great work everyone does for the young people."
- Befriender
"I’m not as angry as I used to be. Just going out with my Befriender has helped."
- Young Person
"Evaluation Question: Now that the befriending match has come to an end, what changes have you seen in your young person if any?
D has become more outgoing since first meeting with him. He appeared to enjoy being included in group activities and meeting others of the same ages which increased his self confidence. Spending time on a one to one basis was especially important because it was time just for him."
- Befriender
"Befriending has been brilliant for my son! He had a fun friendship from the start with his Befriender. My son's lifestyle has changed, he wants to do more outside, he speaks to adults in a mature and confident way.
We thank you!"
- Parent/Carer
"'K' is a lot happier and confident. She is more socially interactive and seems more content within herself."
- Referrer
"Evaluation question. Now that the befriending match has ended, what changes have you seen in the young person you were matched with?
I see a greater confidence in him. He is a lot more 'chatty' and ready to join in activities. He is willing to volunteer and become a great team player. The relationship with mum has improved. I have really enjoyed the match."
- Befriender
"A supportive and helpful program which helps you gain skills at your own pace. Someone you can go to when you need help."
- Young Person
"How has befriending helped you?
Just going out and having someone with me has helped me feel less alone, and it got me out of the house. It has helped me with social situations."
- Young Person
"Evaluation question. Now that the befriending match has ended, what changes have you seen in the young person you were matched with?
“Communication and openness improved. She talks about everything that’s going on. She lights up when I talk to her about sports. In the last couple of months she came out of the house independently. She was always ready.” "
- Befriender
"The Befriending Project is an amazing service. The volunteers are not paid because they are priceless!"
- Parents/Carers
"M has had so much fun and support, to take part in activities offered by your service. She has blossomed with the Befrienders support. She has experienced opportunities that she would not have been able to without your project. I have no doubt that this has had a massive positive impact on M. As a wonderful time well not be forgotten."
- Referrer
"If you had to tell someone about Befriending, what would you tell them?
'It’s a young person coming together with an adult. You have amazing days out, talk about ideas, the Befriender organises it and it’s about getting to know someone. You are getting your communication skills up. Also, it’s setting you up for the future because of all the meetings - it gives you confidence for grown-up meetings. It’s been an amazing experience for me and I would recommend it to any young person who wants to talk about things they wouldn’t say to their family.'"
- Young Person
"This has been hugely beneficial. It has given her an opportunity ‘just for her’. She enjoyed time with her befriender and always looked forward to it."
- Referrer
"I’ve really enjoyed spending time with my young person, he is now confident and comfortable, he behaves and has respect for others every time we are together. His family have been brilliant, supportive and a pleasure to work with. They feel like my own!"
- Befriender
"Do you feel Befriending has benefited your young person?
“Yes, I would say that she has made improvements in many areas. She has improved in confidence which has allowed her to become more sociable and reduced anxiety. Her communication with mum is better, she realises when she might be in the wrong and to apologise to her mum. She appreciated that her mum cares a lot and worries about her.”"
- Befriender
"My daughter has enjoyed her time with her Befriender. She is a sporty girl so loved doing football (running sometimes) with her Befriender. If she had any issues at school she spoke to her Befriender about them and took on board her advice. She is going out more with friends and trying youth clubs."
- Parents/Carers
"'P' has a much higher level of self-esteem and is better able to make important decisions about his life. He is better able to recognise her own qualities."
- Referrer
"Being able to talk to someone has been very helpful and I have enjoyed my experience. I got to go out and do fun activities, forgetting about stuff happening in life."
- Young Person
"Mum trusts ‘G’ and knows I am safe out with her. ‘G’ has made my life so much better."
- Young Person
"Now that your befriending match has come to an end, how has befriending helped you?
I feel more confident around people and I find it easier to talk now. I've found it easier to make new friends. A Befriender is someone to talk to, you can have a nice chat and they listen to you, while taking you places. I liked having a befriender, but don't think I need a befriender anymore (I have seven friends now)."
- Young Person
"N looks’ a lot happier and comes across that she is in a better place, than when our match first started a year ago."
- Befriender
"Befriending has helped me make friends and I get on better with people. I'm a lot more confident, I used to be really, really shy! I get out the house a lot more. It gets me away from the x-box as I started playing with my friends more."
- Young Person
"Evaluation Question: Now that the befriending match has ended, what changes have you seen in the young person you were matched with?
I have seen her over the last year become more confident socially. She is still a quiet, shy individual but this is no longer so debilitating that it is holding her back from participating in life. Befriending came at a good time as she was making more friends at school and both have helped enormously."
- Befriender
"It’s been really good for my confidence. It was helpful to speak to my Befriender about things that worried me."